The past two and a half weeks have been the toughest of my life. I lost the man I thought I was going to marry to another girl and basically lost myself in the process. However, the details of the break-up are not important, nor is this other girl. What is important is how I have survived. I use survived very loosely because although I am alive, I have not been living. Between throwing up, not eating, not sleeping, and locking myself in my room watching ten seasons of Grey's Anatomy, life has not been too great for me. When I first began this trial late at night on 12/25/14 (and yes that is Christmas), I was immediately shattered. I was completely broken and thought that I could not go on. I truly believed that I would never be happy again. Although, as time has gone on I have learned that that is not true. I have found joy through Christ. Through Him and his church, I have learned how to turn trouble in to peace. The only way that I am still living and breathing right now is through Christ and his loving atonement. Without it, I would probably not be here right now. But with it, I have been able to see the light, feel peace, and believe that better days are ahead. How did I do this? Well, it started with a lot of yelling and screaming. Three days after the breakup, I was driving in my car screaming at God. I asked why this was happening to me and why He would take away my future and I was so angry because no one understood. When I said that I immediately stopped yelling. The line "no one understands" kept running through my head. That was when I realized that I was a moron because Christ understands perfectly. He has been where I am and He was felt what I am feeling. He knows because He suffered for me in the garden. He felt my pain and my afflictions and my burdens and my hardships before I did and He knows! Christ understands everything and anything I am feeling because He was felt it! After this experience I began to completely rely on prayer. I gained the knowledge that Christ and Heavenly Father are listening, they are there and they want to help me. But I also came to know that they don't just take your problem or affliction away. I asked them to take my pain away, but they can't do that. Then how would I grow? How would I learn? I wouldn't. I have realized that from this trial, I will become a better person and a stronger disciple of Christ.
"Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child. His love now surrounds you." This simple primary song holds so much profound truth. I challenge you to rely on Christ and Heavenly Father because they are there and they will carry you though.