Friday, January 30, 2015


Joseph Smith, a man who devoted his entire life to protecting the Book of Mormon. A man who's family was ridiculed and threatened countless times because of this book. A man who was attacked and spit on for what he believed. A man who ultimately died trying to protect the word. And still he stood by this book. Why would someone do such a thing? Why would someone give their entire life for a book? Because it is true and it is life changing. If you let it, the Book of Mormon will completely change you. The Book of Mormon is another witness that Jesus Christ really lived, that He was and is God’s Son. It contains the writings of ancient prophets. Within its pages you will learn of Christ and all of the amazing miracles that he performed. You will learn of all the people in the scriptures that made mistakes and came back to Christ, and those who didn't. You will learn of the second coming and consequences for our actions at the last days. You will learn how to find humility, peace, love, joy, and hope in your life. In the scriptures, you can find the answers to any question you have. I testify that if you read this book and go to Heavenly Father with an open mind, he will show the truthfulness of it to you. (Moroni 10:4) I know this because I have done it. And now I know without a shadow of a doubt that this book is true. And now I understand why Joseph Smith lived his life the way he did because I would do it too. I would die before I denied the truthfulness of this book. So, discover the book and let it change your life. 

Thursday, January 29, 2015

He is Everything

In my life, I have never really understood how important my Savior is- until recently. Recently I have learned that He is everything. He is my Redeemer. He is my Savior. He is my best friend. He is my brother. I can go to Him with anything and for anything. Because of Him I can be perfected. Because of Him I can make mistakes and through His atonement be made clean and whole again. He has done everything for me and continues to do everything for me. Now that I have lived a life with Him, I cannot imagine living a life without Him. I rely on Him completely and I go to Him everyday. He has saved me. And His gospel makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. He is lasting peace, he is the answer to all of life's questions. He is our hope when hope is gone. I have learned in the past few weeks that I cannot live a life without Christ nor do I want too. So it's simple, I love my Savior and words can't begin to describe how thankful I am for Him. 

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

My Favorite Thing

Oh my goodness I love praying. So much. The power of prayer seriously is my favorite thing. Over the last month I have come to absolutely love saying my prayers. But not only do I absolutely love it, I completely rely on its power. It's the only time in my day when I feel completely free. Free of all care in the world because I can  speak without judgement and I know that no matter what He is always there. Prayer brings a kind of peace that nothing else can and brings a special kind of comfort. I have learned that I can go to Heavenly Father with anything. No matter what it is! When I pray, I pretend like I'm sitting in a room with my best friend and it's just the two of us so I know that I can say anything. Because He is my best friend. When I pray, I feel like someone is listening because someone IS listening! It's the most amazing and humbly feeling. The power of prayer is what really showed me that I was not alone in a situation where I felt utterly lost. Prayer has been the way that I have been able to feel of Gods love and His presence in my life. I could go on and on and on about prayer because it's my favorite thing! I find myself praying all throughout the day. Each morning and night I do it on my knees and speak out loud to my Father in Heaven, but through  out the day, I find myself with a prayer in my mind and in my heart. Sometimes I even find myself speaking out loud while I'm driving in my car or walking across campus. Prayer is so incredible. So my advice to you- pray always. Always. Always. Always. Life is hard? Pray. Life is confusing? Pray. Life is pointless? Pray. Life is easy and good? Well Elder Holland said it best: KEEP PRAYING. Remember to always pray regardless of your circumstances and to always keep a prayer in your heart. Because I promise you- He is there and He is listening. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Why I Want To Serve

There are three reasons why I want to serve a mission. They're quite simple actually (and yes these are in order of importance to me):
1. For God. I want to serve Him and my Savior because of everything they have done for me. This 18 month sacrifice is so small compared to the countless sacrifices they have made for me. I want to devote everything to Him because He gave everything for me. It is because of Him that I have this amazing gospel in my life and have the opportunity to attend such an amazing university. It is because of Him that I have such an incredible family and amazing friends. Everything in my life is because of Him. And so, I have a full heart and a true desire to serve Him. 
2. For other people. I want others to know of this true church and the pure happiness it brings into my life. Everyone deserves to feel this joy and know the teachings and blessings of the gospel. I truly want to spread the gospel to everyone who is ready to hear this amazing message. This gospel and my Savior saved me. And I want to let other people know that there is hope. Ahhhh I have so many things I want to say but I can't get them out. I just want every single person to know about the gospel and the happiness that is out there so badly! And I want to do whatever I can to help share it. EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING NEEDS THIS GOSPEL. And I intend on sharing it with everyone I come into contact with. 
3. For me. Yes, I will admit I am going on a mission for selfish reasons too. I know that by serving a mission, I will be more prepared to be a great mom and a great wife. I know that my testimony will be strengthened so much while I'm on my mission and I want that so badly! I want to give my whole self to the Lord and engage in His service. I want to be able to say, Ya! I was and am a member of the Lords army! When I stand in front of my Savior and Lord in the last days I want to be able to say that I am fully converted to this gospel and I also did everything I could do to fully convert others and show them the truth. Also, this is the first big life decision I made on my own. I told no one that I was even thinking about it. I just did it. I'm going on a mission for me and not for any one else. No one forced me into this. This is for ME. 

Am I scared? Oh Ya. 
Am I nervous? You betcha. 
Do I feel unprepared? Sure do. 
Am I excited? More than I ever have been in my entire life. 

My dad once told me that all that matters is that pure desire to serve and if you rely on God he will take care of the rest. I cannot wait to start preparing and go on a mission. I know the road to my mission won't be short or easy, but it will be so so worth it. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

Hard Times

Lately, I have felt like I have been trying so hard to be better and do better and things have just been getting harder and harder for me. This has been making it extremely difficult for me to keep faith in God and his timing because a lot of the time we are told that if we try really hard then good things will happen; however, that is not always true. I believe that if you are trying so hard to be better and do better, maybe God takes that as a sign that you are ready for more and you are in need of spiritual growth. And that growth tends to come from adversity and trials. Sometimes because it takes pain and suffering to grow, things have to get worse before they can get better.  Heavenly Father sometimes uses our pain as a megaphone for the important things He needs to tell us. He uses heartbreak, turmoil, pain, and suffering to make us better. However true this all may be, it doesn't make it any easier. Pain still hurts and trials still tend to suck, but we always have our Savior. I've said it before and I'll say it again, He will never leave us alone. No matter what we are going through or what we are feeling, He's gone through it and He's felt it. He knows every feeling because He's experienced it. So when life just keeps getting harder, go to Christ because He knows what it feels like. And however hard it might be, do your best to keep a positive perspective and remember that God gives His toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. So yes, sometimes the harder you try the harder things will get, but it's just because God loves you and knows what you are capable of. He knows your potential and the amazing light that lies within you. Hard times make us stronger. Hard times make us better. Hard times help us grow. Hard times bring us closer to Christ. So really when you think about it, hard times really can be the best times because the hard times are where we have the opportunity to draw nearer to Christ and become better versions of ourselves. Nothing worth having comes easily. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

He Can Heal You

Some days and some nights are harder than others. Memories flood your brain when you least expect it and things you just want to forget seem to be the only things you can remember. The hurt that you thought was gone somehow comes back with full force and it's like it never left. It's times like these when it is so important to not turn your hearts away from God because you feel like he is not there, but to turn your hearts too him and let him heal you. This church can heal anything. This gospel can take away our deepest pain. Our amazing Savior and Father in Heaven can ease all of our burdens. When things get hard and we feel as if our wounds are too deep to be healed, I have learned that the only thing that can heal our wounds is the atonement of our Savior. Through Christ, every wound, no matter how deep, can be healed. So when you are having those nights or days where the pain is just too much to bear and you can't do it on your own, remember that you don't have to do it alone. You have a Savior behind you who will pick you up and carry you through everything if you let Him. This gospel, the atonement, and our Savior can and will heal any wound that we have. I guarantee this life will not be easy. You will fall. You will be hurt. You will feel forgotten. But through the gospel, that can all be taken away. I am so thankful for that because I would not make it through this life without the amazing light that comes from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Guess Who's Going on a Mission

I'm so blessed and so lucky to have been born into such an amazing gospel. I cannot imagine a life with out the gospel in it. And that is why I have decided to serve a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I've decided to leave my family for 18 months so that others can be with their families forever. I have decided to serve a mission because I know without a shadow of a doubt that this church is the source of my happiness and I believe that every human being on this earth deserves to know and feel of this pure joy that I have in my life. I have decided to serve a mission because when I hit rock bottom, when I felt like I had nothing else to live for,  this gospel, my savior gave me a purpose. He pulled me up from rock bottom. I'm serving a mission because I want everyone in the world to know that rock bottom doesn't mean it's over. There is always a way back and that way back is our Savior. He is the way. And I plan on spreading that message out to where ever I am called to serve too. I cannot wait to put my life on hold for 18 months and devote everything I have and everything I am to the Lord.  am so blessed to have this opportunity to serve. I cannot wait to see what my future holds. I will be turning my papers in this summer and hopefully receiving a call soon after. But coming to this decision was not easy. It took many sleepless nights full of tearful prayers and tear stained scriptures. It took fasting and reading my patriarchal blessing countless times. And it took complete faith and trust in the Lord. Although coming to this decision was not easy, I could not be happier with the decision I made. I know serving a mission will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I also know that it will be the most rewarding. I have never been so unsure, afraid, and nervous about something in my life, but I have also never been so sure, calm, and excited.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

God's Love

There have been so many times in my life where I have felt unworthy of Gods love. Times where I have felt as if I have done too much and that there was no way God could love me. It was during these times that I needed God the most, but it was during these times that I turned away from Him. Let me start out by saying- God loves each and every one of us no matter what. He doesn't wait until we are perfect to love us, he loves us when we are at our worst! No matter what we do, or what path we have gone down, God will love us. Even when you deny Him and turn away from He, He would never turn away from you. This is a very hard fact to realize, I know that because it has taken me 18 years to fully grasp the concept that God loves me unconditionally and he always will. Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is never changing and neither is His love. He loves you yesterday, today, and forever!! Regardless of anything in your life that has lead you to believe otherwise. There have been countless times in my life that I have felt as if God didn't love me or that I was unworthy to be loved by Him. All I wanted to do was turn away from Him, but those were the times when all I needed to do was say a prayer, open my scriptures, or go to the temple and realize that God will never ever stop loving me! I now know that God's love is always available to me if I am wiling to go to Him. His hands are always stretched out toward me and all I have to do is come unto Him! He's always there and always wanting to love me. I just have to let Him. I'm so grateful for Gods love for me and I truly don't know what I would do without Him in my life. Please please please always remember that God loves you. I know how hard life is when you think that He doesn't, so never believe that. Never think for a second that your Father in Heaven doesn't love you, that thought comes from Satan. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. And nothing will ever change that fact. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Know Who You Are

Finding yourself comes when you find and come unto Christ. When you understand that you are a son or daughter of God, you realize that nothing else matters. No one's opinion can take you down and no trial can tear you apart as long as you remember that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. I thought I knew exactly who I was and where I was going. Then, everything in my life changed and I was lost and had no idea who I was. For so long I tried to find myself and I just couldn't, so I decided to turn to the Lord. I turned my heart to Christ, l utilized the power of prayer and the comfort of the scriptures and from that I have been able to find myself. There have been times during this last month when I felt so lost because I felt as if I was being kicked while I was down and trampled into the ground by the words and actions of others. But that was when I realized that in the eternal perspective (or even just the big picture) the things that are happening right now aren't going to matter. But what is going to matter is the fact that I realized, for the first time in my life, that I am truly a noble disciple of Christ and a royal daughter of an amazing King. It was when I turned to Christ that I learned who I really am and realized what really matters in this life. I learned that if you want to find out who you are, you have to find Christ and build a relationship with him first. I learned not to waste time and energy on things that won't matter in the eternities and use my energy on the things of the Lord. As hard as life has been, I have learned WHO I am and WHOSE I am. I am beautiful to Him. He loves me the way I am. He will always be here for me. He will always protect me. He's my strength when I stand. He has saved me. He is my king. He is my father. I am His daughter. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

My Testimony

When trying to decide what to write about today, I just thought that it was very important for everyone to know that I truly have a testimony of this church and I know how important it is to share that testimony. You never know when something in your testimony can be life changing for someone else, don't be afraid to share it! Stand up for what you believe in and share what you believe with those around you. So, here is the part of my testimony that I felt like I needed to share today...

I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the only true church on the earth. I know that Joseph Smith restored the church and translated the Book of Mormon. I know that he devoted his life to protecting the word and because I know this I also know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that the Book of Mormon was written for us in our day and that we can receive guidance and answers to life's questions in it's pages. I know that God hears and answers our prayers even if He answers them in a way that isn't what we were hoping. I know that God has a plan for us, that everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and that God will pull us through any trial. I know that through prayer we can talk to our Father in Heaven and receive revelation and feel comforted. I know that our Savior died for each of us so that we could utilize the atonement and return to live with Him again someday. I know that coming to Christ and repenting of our sins is the only way to live in Celestial glory. Repentance is absolutely real and God's grace and mercy covers anything we've ever done and everything in our lives. No matter what we do, if you come unto Christ with a truly repentant heart, we can be forgiven and be clean again. I also know that the atonement isn't just for repentance, it is also for comfort because the Savior has felt every single one of our pains and hardships. I know that Jesus Christ understands everything I feel in this life because he knelt in the garden and felt it all. I know that our Father in Heaven will carry us through anything in our life. No matter how down or how worthless we feel, God can save us. He will never leave us alone, He is always there. I know that the gospel and this church are the only way to have true happiness. This church brings happiness that nothing else in this world can because the gospel brings happiness that lasts for eternity. I am so incredibly thankful to have this church in my life and because of this, I wish to share it with the world because everyone deserves to feel the indescribable happiness that the gospel brings. I know all of this because I have experienced it all in my life. I have read the Book of Mormon and received answers from God. I have used the atonement to feel comfort and to be made clean again. I have been saved by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when I have been at the lowest point in my life. I have had my prayers answered and received revelation from the Lord. I have felt the eternal joy that this church brings. I have felt God carry me through the toughest times in my life. I could never deny any of these things because I have seen them at work in my life. I could never doubt because I have felt the spirit and the Holy Ghost has made these things known to me. I know that if we put our full trust in God, He will never let us down. He loves us with unconditional and everlasting love. It's a kind of love that nothing can compare to. I have felt His love and continue to feel it everyday; it is truly the most wonderful feeling. I know that I am a child of God and a daughter of a King. I am so blessed. I have so much to be grateful for and I am so proud to be a member of this amazing church. There is no doubt in my mind that this church is true. I love the gospel and I love my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

How blessed am I

This sunday, I decided to look at how blessed I truly am. 

How blessed am I to have been born a member of such an incredible church. How blessed am I to have the opportunity to know the truth. How blessed am I to know that I have a Heavenly Father and a Savior who love me completely. To know that the Savior suffered for me personally. And to know that because of his suffering, there is nothing I can do that I can't be healed from. How blessed am I to know that the atonement can not only bring complete healing, but it can bring complete comfort and peace. And to know that if I keep the commandments and live the gospel, that I can one day return to the arms of my loving Heavenly Father and Savior again. I am so thankful that I was born into a family that taught me the importance of the gospel. I am so lucky that I know what it feels like to be truly happy because of this amazing church. True happiness comes from the gospel of Jesus Christ. True happiness comes when we follow the Lord and obey the commandments. True happiness comes when we trust in God and in His plans for us. How blessed am I to have the keys to true and everlasting happiness. And how blessed am I to have the tools to share this happiness and to share this amazing gospel with the world. How blessed am I to have the knowledge that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I am so thankful for the counsel and comfort I get from the wonderful pages of this book. The Book of Mormon is so wonderful and I feel the spirit every time I read it. How blessed am I to know that my prayers are heard and answered. The fact that I can pray and feel my Saviors love is such an amazing blessing. How blessed am I to be surrounded by so many beautiful and perfect temples. The temple is such a holy and perfect place and I feel nothing but pure joy and love every second I spend in one of Gods holy houses. How blessed am I to know that we have living prophets on the earth today that receive revelation for us from God. How blessed am I to have family and friends that love me and share standards with me. How blessed I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I could not be more blessed. I love my Father in Heaven. I love my Savior. I love this church and I know it's true. 

My heart is full because I am truly blessed. 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

God Works in Mysterious Ways

Wow. Sometimes, God answers our prayers in the craziest and most unexpected ways. Every since Christmas, I have been praying for friends. I have been praying that I would make friends that believed what I believed but that also had personalities like mine. And last Sunday, I felt like I needed to create this blog. 4 days later, I received a message on instagram from a girl that I didn't know saying that she had found my blog and thinks we would be great friends; and crazy enough, we became best friends over the course of the next 48 hours. She has the same standards as me and is preparing to serve a mission so she pushes me to be better. This is just a small example of a way that God has worked crazy little miracles in my life. I thank God at night now for bringing this wonderful human into my life because I want to be better because of her and I want to be able to push her to be better. But now, let's look at an example on a larger scale. Last April, I had decided that the church wasn't true and that it didn't matter at all. So when I met my last boyfriend in May, that was what my mind was set on. Over the course of that relationship, not only did I get him into the gospel, but I got myself back into it as well. I had too if I wanted to convert him, I had no choice! And now, in the aftermath, I am stronger in the gospel then ever before. So maybe, just maybe, Heavenly Father put me through that relationship and this horrible trial to show me that I absolutely need the church and Christ in my life. I was in a place where I didn't want anything to do with the church, I was doing things that I knew were wrong but I didn't care because I had closed myself off from the spirit. I am now in a place where I couldn't doubt the truthfulness of the church even if I wanted to. I am now in a place where I love the church and my Savior more than anything and rely on Him probably more than I should (if that's even possible). I have never been stronger in the church in my entire life. How mysterious Gods ways are! Without Him putting me through that relationship and through this extremely challenging time, who knows where I would be right now or what mind set I would be in in regards to the church. The most comforting thing of all, is the fact that all of this means that my Father in Heaven is aware of me and my needs and is looking out for me. He is there for me and He wants what is best for me. Sometimes, the hardest roads have the greatest meaning in our lives. That's how God works. He puts you through the toughest trials to make you see that He is the way, and then He pulls you through. He might give you what you think you want in order to show you that it is absolutely not what you need. It is impossible for me to sit here and try to explain the way God works. But I do know that no matter what He does or what He puts us through, He is doing what is best for us. I know that if we will let God's will be our will, things will always work out for us in the end even if the road there is extremely difficult. I know that no matter how scary life may be that God is there. And I say this in almost every one of my posts but it is something that is so evident in my life right now; if you believe in God's plan for you, you never have to ask why things are happening. Trust in His plan. It is the only way to true everlasting happiness. God's mysterious ways may seem strange at the time, but in the end He will bless you in so many ways. Just listen to the spirit and always keep yourself in places where the spirit can be so that you can let God work in your life. Consider that maybe God is giving you the worst days to bring about the best of your life. Consider that maybe in order to answer your prayers God might have to do the exact opposite of what you want.  

Hymn 285
1. God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
2. Ye fearful Saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
3. His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
God really does work in mysterious ways. I've seen it in my life and I am honestly so incredibly thankful for it.

Friday, January 16, 2015

One Day You'll Find

One problem that arose with me in my last relationship was that of religion. He was not very strong in the church when we first met, but after a few short months of being together, he started to become more actively engaged. He even began to give me new insights into the gospel. My dad ordained him a priest and he was on the road to be a worthy priesthood holder and member of the church so that we could get married in the temple. I didn't realize it then, but he really had to change his entire life for me. He changed everything about himself just so he could be with me and marry me. That isn't a small task, that is actually a very big deal. But that was the problem, he was doing it for me. He was doing it so that he could marry me and the only way I would marry him was in the temple. I don't doubt that he felt the spirit and it touched his heart. I don't doubt that he believed the church was true, but I do think that ultimately he made the decisions he made in the church for me and not for himself. That is part of the reason that this is so hard for me. Why would a person put so much effort into changing just to throw it away? I cannot answer that question, nor is that question the point of this post. My point is, you shouldn't have to change everything about yourself to be with someone. On Sunday, I met with my bishop and I said all of this to him. I questioned how a person could change so much for someone and then just walk away like nothing happened. My bishop paused, sat up tall in his chair. He chuckled as he said, "One day you will find a boy who didn't have to change his whole life for you because he lived his whole life for you." The room went silent and I began to cry as I started to think that there is someone on the earth right now who is living for me. He is striving to be the best he can be so when we meet, he will already be an amazing worthy priesthood holder. And you know what I have realized? I deserve someone like that. Or I will. After I left his office I started thinking about if I was living my life in a way that one day my future husband would be proud of. That was when I decided to make some changes. I decided then and there that from now on, I'm not only living my life for me, but for my future husband and family. So that one day, I will find him and he will be so proud of me. Now, I wake up every morning and include a blessing on him in my prayers. I pray that he will be able to get through the trials in his life and that he will know that God loves him. I pray that as he goes through school and a job or whatever he is doing, he will be able to be strong and successful. I do this because life can get so hard and it can be extremely difficult and it can never hurt to have someone praying for you. I do this because I can't wait for the day when I meet him and I can say, hey I have been praying for you. I can't wait to see the look on his face. I challenge all of you, male and female, to pray for your future spouse and try everyday to be better for them and your future family. Never get discouraged or depressed if you lose someone that you truly cared for and love because one day you will find someone who will blow them away. That person is out there and if you trust in God's plan for you, it will all work out. If you believe that God does everything for your benefit, it will all work out. And if you have faith in God that he would never take someone out of your life that you're not better without, it will all work out. Always remember that being completely in love has everything to do with the gospel. As a couple, put God first, put the church first, and put each other second. Do this, and one day you'll find someone who has lived their whole life for YOU, and don't let yourself settle for anything else. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Lose Yourself in Service

 Yesterday I started my internship at the Family Support and Treatment Center in Orem. There I have the amazing opportunity to teach and play with children who have been neglected, abused, or who's parents just need a little extra help with childcare. The feeling I got while serving yesterday was indescribable and I haven't been that genuinely happy in 3 weeks. I knew that yesterday I was acting as the Lord's hands in these children's lives. We have been commanded by the Lord to serve others and help the poor and needy, and I know that as we keep that commandment and lose ourselves in service, we will be the ones who will benefit from it. The Lord will lead you to those in need if you will embrace the gospel. If you ever feel as if you are too sad or broken to serve, remember that no matter what circumstances you are currently experiencing, your influence can be life changing and touch so many lives. The miracle I have found with service is that you tend to find your true self when you lose yourself in service! It truly is such a blessing and it brings so much happiness! We have all heard the quote "When you are in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God." I feel like because we've heard it so many times, we may over look the amazing truth that lies within it. When you serve those around you, when you help the poor and the needy, you are serving God. You are not only being one of His tools, you are serving him by correlation. Christ gave us the most incredible example of service with the atonement. He came down to earth and lived a life full of service and love and then made the ultimate sacrifice and act of service when he died for every single one of us on the cross. In life, never feel like your service is too small or isn't enough. That is Satan. Satan will try to tell you that, "Your small efforts are meaningless." or if you are heavily burdened he will try and say "You don't have time to be concerned for others."  If you put your trust in the Lord, He will completely shut down everything that Satan tries to tell you and He will do everything He can to make sure you are planted in the path of service and that your heart is dedicated to follow the example of the Savior. God often answers prayers through other people, so you never know when you might be the answer to someone's prayer. The smallest act of service to someone could be just what they have been praying for. Basically what I am trying to say is utilize every opportunity you can to serve. Serve serve serve serve serve! Because as I have gone through this trial in my life, I have found that I am happiest when I serve and that my prayers get answered through my service. I testify that service can change your life and makes you more like our Savior. I know that losing yourself in service can be the ultimate tool in finding your true self.

"Often, the answer to our prayer does not come while we’re on our knees but while we’re on our feet serving the Lord and serving those around us. Selfless acts of service and consecration refine our spirits, remove the scales from our spiritual eyes, and open the windows of heaven. By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answer to our own."
--Dieter F. Uchtdorf

(The last picture is of a drawing that a little girl did for me yesterday. It truly made my day when she said "Jenna! I drawed us and there is a rainbow because um they're pretty and you're pretty") 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


In this life, we are constantly tested and tried and given extremely difficult challenges. I know for me, I always find myself asking why. Why me? or Why did this have to happen? or Why do bad things happen to good people? and so on. And even though I don't have all the answers, I know there are a few truths that have made it possible for me to face my challenges in life with faith, strength, and hope: 
     1. Having the knowledge that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us individually. He knows our names and he knows exactly what we are going through. He completely understands our pain and our sufferings. Our Heavenly Father would never leave our side, especially during our hardest trials. There is nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us. There is nothing we can do that makes us unworthy of his love. Heavenly Father loves us perfectly and completely. 
     2. Knowing that Jesus Christ atoned for our sins. He has felt every single thing that we have felt and he knows us perfectly. Christ's atonement provides comfort, love, peace, hope, and salvation. His atonement was perfect and because of that it can make all of our wrongs become rights and all of our sins can be washed away. Christ's atonement can get you through anything in life. Through His atonement we are able to know that storms don't last forever. The atonement brings so much hope and peace into our lives and that is all because our Savior Jesus Christ suffered for us individually.
     3. Realizing that God's plan for us can offer a life changing perspective. If you remember that God has it all planned out for us and he wants us to be happy, you can completely change your attitude towards your situation. Instead of asking why me, you'll begin to be thankful for your trials because of your trust in His plan. Eternal perspective is key. Remember that one day God will reveal everything to us. One day we will know why we suffered as much as we did. And one day, these hardships we faced won't be felt anymore because we will be wrapped up in the arms of our Heavenly Father. 
     4. Because I'm so blessed with so many amazing men in my life I have gained a testimony that the power of the priesthood can heal all wounds. If you are experiencing a horrible tragedy or facing a hard time in your life, ask a priesthood holder close to you for a blessing. The priesthood is a special and holy gift that can bring healing and peace. Priesthood blessings can provide ultimate comfort and true hope for the future. Use the power of the priesthood in your life, it is a tool that many people tend to overlook. I am so grateful to have such easy access to the priesthood power. 
     5. I have found that applying the "primary answers" to my life, I am able to get through the toughest trials. Go to church, read your scriptures, pay your tithing, say your prayers, keep the commandments etc. These things may seem so basic and so simple, and that is because they are! These are the things that are taught to us from before we can crawl. And somehow, they are the most important things we can do. These things keep us on the right path. Using these things in hard times can help you feel a closeness with your Savior and can help you feel comfort and love. 

So I guess the answer to all the "why's" is because it will help you grow. Trials give you an opportunity to become closer to our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. The outcome of our trials will far exceed the pain of them. Often, the loneliest roads lead to the most amazing places. The lowest points in our lives tend to lead to the most amazing blessings. No trial will ever be wasted because each trial we go through makes us strong and has the potential to bring us closer to Christ. A lot of the time, trials come when you least expect them to and they are evidence that the Lord feels you are ready for more growth in your life. God then gives you experiences that cause growth and understanding that will help you get from where you are now to where He ultimately wants you to be. But generally getting to where He wants us to be requires a lot of hardship and pain. It is while you are on that path from where you are to where He wants you to be that you must remember to put all your faith into God's plan and rely on the atonement and the principles of the gospel. Just remember that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always going to be by your side. 

"Sometimes the Lord calms the storm, and sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the child."

Our Lifeguard

Drowning. It is something that is terrifying just thinking about it. You're trapped, gasping for air, you can't breathe. It's dark, it's cold, it's lonely. Sometimes, this is how we feel in life. We feel as if we are in a lonely place that we cannot escape. Times like these in life are the most terrifying because you feel like there absolutely nothing you can do. But there is because our lifeguard walks on water. He will come to you and grab your hand. He will save you. He will protect you from the darkness with his everlasting light. He will pull you out of the waters of the adversary and lead you back. Our lifeguard, our Savior will never leave us alone. He will pick us up and hold us in his arms reminding us that He loves us and that His grace is sufficient enough to save us no matter how deep under the water we are. But we have to do whatever it takes to not enter the waters of the adversary. We all makes mistakes, so it's ok to get into the water sometimes as long as you get back out. Drowning happens slowly. First, you find yourself dipping your toes in the water just to see how it feels. Second, you realize your whole foot is in. And then, before you know it, you're in the water completely. However, you don't drown just by getting in the water, you drown by staying there. Have the strength and the courage to stand up for your faith and stay out of the water, no matter how many of your friends are jumping in. Don't see how close you can get to the water without getting in because the closer you get the harder it is. Stay away from the water, stay away from the sin and temptation. No one is perfect, trust me I know this first hand. But if you jump in the water 7 times then jump out 8. It truly does not matter how many mistakes you make or how many times you find yourself in the water as long as you always find the way out, as long as you always find the Savior. The Atonement is real. Repentance is real. Healing is real. And it was all made possible by the incredible sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. So next time you feel like you're drowning, don't panic because our lifeguard walks on water and He will save you. 

Monday, January 12, 2015

Even When You're Broken

2 summers ago I went to my last year at EFY and I heard a song that I have never forgotten. The song is called "Even When You're Broken".

"Even when you're broken, He's going to love you. So pour out what you're feeling inside. You can tell him anything, whatever you've done. Cause even when you're broken, you are loved."

Just these few lines from this song are so incredibly powerful. In life, we are all going to make mistakes and go through hardships. At some point we are all going to have those times where we feel broken. Now, that doesn't mean that you are broken because you've sinned, although it applies to that as well. Broken means that you feel as if you are unfixable, lost, unloved, and can no longer go on. When we feel broken, we usually tend to feel ashamed and we feel as if God has left us. We feel as if we are undeserving of God's love, or of anyone's love for that matter. This however could not be farther from the truth. God loves us no matter what we have done and no matter what we have been through. He will help us and carry us through our toughest storms. He will never leave us comfortless. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want to help us, they want to be here for us. But we have to put in the work. We have to get on our knees and pray to them and ask for guidance and comfort. I promise you, that if you do that they will answer you. If you pray with a full heart and real intent, our Father in Heaven will wrap his arms around you, no matter how broken you think you are. You are never too far gone to come back to Christ. The amazing thing about Him is that He never turns his back on us. No matter how many times we sin or deny Him, He is always there for us. But we have to choose. I had a choice to make 2 weeks ago, I could choose to stay broken and alone or I could choose to rely on Christ and let Him carry me. And to be honest, I did a little bit of both. I started out by just letting myself feel broken and alone, which isn't the worst thing because it made me realize that there was NO way I was going to be able to do this alone. So, I turned my broken heart over to the Lord and asked him to heal it. Ever since then, this song has been running through my head. Even when I am broken, I am loved. I can tell Him anything and He will listen and counsel with me and he will not judge me. That is an incredible feeling. During the course of this trial, I hit what I believed to be my rock bottom. I had lost 10 pounds, I wasn't sleeping, I had no friends around me, I had lost the love of my life, and I didn't know how to go on. That was when I realized that rock bottom was the perfect place to start rebuilding. I realized that maybe the Lord broke me so that I could take the pieces and build a better me. So, that is what I am doing. I am slowly taking the broken pieces of myself and turning them into someone that my Father in Heaven would be proud of. I am turning myself into someone who is deserving and worthy of an amazing priesthood holder and son of God. I am turning into a better me, and I couldn't do it without Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. And you know what, I couldn't have done it without first being broken. So next time you feel broken, unloved, or completely alone, remember that sometimes our hardest trials are where we find our true self and that God will NEVER leave you alone.
{ Song: Even When You're Broken }

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Wrong Roads

 Elder Holland tells a story about when he was with his son and they came to an unrecognizable fork in the road. He told his son to pray and decide which road to take. After their prayer, they both felt like they should go to the right side of the road. After about 500 yards it was a dead end. They then turned around and went back and took what they now knew to be the correct road. His son asked why God would take them down the wrong path and Elder Holland replied, "I think that the Lord, his wish for us and his answer to our prayer was to get us on the right road as quickly as possible with some understanding that we were on the right road and we didn't have to worry about it, and in this case it was easiest to let us go 500 yards in the wrong direction and very quickly know without a doubt that is was the wrong road and with equal certainty and equal conviction that the other one was the right road." Sometimes in life, we aren't given the answers to our prayers that we would like. Sometimes in life, God has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves. But in the end, it is always for our benefit. It is completely possible that sometimes God takes you down the wrong road for just a little while so that we are then completely sure that we are on the right road for our lives. We just have to trust in God and not give up, we have to keep going even when things aren't going right. If we follow God's plan and trust in Him, eventually we will end up back into his arms. He will bring us in and tell us how much He loves us. I know that God loves us endlessly. It doesn't matter what you've done or where you've been in life or how far down on the wrong road you've gotten, with God we can all return to the right road. He loves us unconditionally if you come unto Him with love and repentance, He will never turn you away. I have seen this in my life very much recently. Heavenly Father took me down the wrong road in life so that I know when I am on the right road. I experienced the wrong person so that when I meet the right person, I will know for sure that it is right. And even though I am experiencing the most agonizing pain I have ever experienced in my life, I know in the end it'll be for my benefit because God doesn't bring you too it if He doesn't plan on bringing you through it. I can only imagine what blessings lie ahead. What a blessing it is to know that even if you feel as if you are on the wrong road, that there is light and comfort ahead! There are far greater things ahead than you are leaving behind if you put your trust in God and His plan! I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven and his plan for me and I know that it brings pure joy and happiness. Through my trials, I am learning to be thankful for the wrong roads that Christ sends me down. I know that Heavenly Father's love is everlasting and I am so thankful for Him in my life.
{ Mormon Message- Elder Holland: Wrong Roads }

Pray, He is there

The past two and a half weeks have been the toughest of my life. I lost the man I thought I was going to marry to another girl and basically lost myself in the process. However, the details of the break-up are not important, nor is this other girl. What is important is how I have survived. I use survived very loosely because although I am alive, I have not been living. Between throwing up, not eating, not sleeping, and locking myself in my room watching ten seasons of Grey's Anatomy, life has not been too great for me. When I first began this trial late at night on 12/25/14 (and yes that is Christmas), I was immediately shattered. I was completely broken and thought that I could not go on. I truly believed that I would never be happy again. Although, as time has gone on I have learned that that is not true. I have found joy through Christ. Through Him and his church, I have learned how to turn trouble in to peace. The only way that I am still living and breathing right now is through Christ and his loving atonement. Without it, I would probably not be here right now. But with it, I have been able to see the light, feel peace, and believe that better days are ahead. How did I do this? Well, it started with a lot of yelling and screaming. Three days after the breakup, I was driving in my car screaming at God. I asked why this was happening to me and why He would take away my future and I was so angry because no one understood. When I said that I immediately stopped yelling. The line "no one understands" kept running through my head. That was when I realized that I was a moron because Christ understands perfectly. He has been where I am and He was felt what I am feeling. He knows because He suffered for me in the garden. He felt my pain and my afflictions and my burdens and my hardships before I did and He knows! Christ understands everything and anything I am feeling because He was felt it! After this experience I began to completely rely on prayer. I gained the knowledge that Christ and Heavenly Father are listening, they are there and they want to help me. But I also came to know that they don't just take your problem or affliction away. I asked them to take my pain away, but they can't do that. Then how would I grow? How would I learn? I wouldn't. I have realized that from this trial, I will become a better person and a stronger disciple of Christ.

"Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child. His love now surrounds you." This simple primary song holds so much profound truth. I challenge you to rely on Christ and Heavenly Father because they are there and they will carry you though.