My experiences in the last month have been far from easy. There have been times that I have had trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't accept the fact that the things that were happening in my life were actually happening. I have been eagerly awaiting this October's General Conference because I needed the advice and counsel from the Lord and his prophets now more than ever. I went into General Conference having pleaded with Heavenly Father to give me an answer or a sign to help me know that he was aware of me and that things in my life were going to be okay. There aren't words for how strongly I felt the spirit as I listened to each of the speakers this weekend because in every single talk I received personal revelation and answers to every single thing I needed. As I sat back after all 4 sessions of conference and reflected on the talks, I honestly felt like conference had been written specifically for me and my life. I was brought to tears by the sudden realization that my Heavenly Father is so aware of me and he knows exactly what I need. Conference is always amazing but this weekend was absolutely life changing.
Even though in every talk I was able to feel the comfort and love from my Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ, there was one talk that stuck out from the rest- Yielding Our Hearts to God by Neill F. Marriott. Sister Marriott stated that her family picked the motto "It will all work out" when the family faced a devastating loss. Sister Marriott stated, "Faith in our Redeemer and His Resurrection, faith in His priesthood power, and faith in eternal sealings let us state our motto with conviction." Thinking about the circumstances in my life, I tried to apply the same motto, "it will all work out." As her talk continued, Sister Marriott said that her family made sure that they did not say that things would all work out NOW. And that's when things really clicked in my brain. In hard times, suffering and pain are sometimes required in order for us to learn the things that we need to learn. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better and just because things haven't worked out yet doesn't mean they won't. Because they really will! Through hope, faith, and our Savior, anything that we go through in this life will always work out.
When Sister Marriott began talking about the Lords plan and timing, I began to cry. Throughout the past month I have really struggled trying to figure out why things are happening and why Heavenly Father would do this to me. I could not figure out what the Lord's plan was for me. I tried to rebel against his plan and just do things my way. I thought that my plan was better because if I did what I wanted to do I would have happiness now. But after listening to Sister Marriott's words, I now have a more full understanding that true and everlasting happiness only comes from fully yielding to God's plan and timing. The only way to find true happiness in your life is by understanding that our Father in Heaven has a plan for you and that his plan for you is not always going to be what you want for yourself. You have to completely trust the Lord in order to find happiness.
But out of everything that Sister Marriott talked about, nothing made me more emotional or feel the love of my savior more than when she said, "When we offer a broken heart to Jesus Christ, he excepts are offering. He takes us back. No matter what losses, wounds, and rejection we may have suffered, His grace and healing our mightier than all. Truly, yoked to the Savior, we can say with confidence, 'It will all work out.'" I have never experienced heart break quite like I'm experiencing now. And to be honest, I have not really known how to feel okay again, but Sister Marriott made me remember that Jesus Christ can heal my heart and He has felt exactly what I am feeling right now in this moment. This talk helped me to remember that no matter what I go through, and even with what I'm experiencing now, it WILL all work out. Jesus Christ died for me so that I could feel comfort and love. Jesus Christ died for me so that my broken heart could be healed. I know that if we trust in the Lord's plan and bring our pain and sorrow's onto him that Jesus Christ will heal us.
I am so thankful to have a Father in Heaven who cares enough about me to inspire the speakers in General Conference to give answers and guidance that I need in my life. This General Conference has changed my life and has been a real wake-up call for me. There aren't words to describe how spiritually replenished I feel after this weekend. I love this church and I'm so thankful for this gospel.
Is it April yet?