This time last year, I looked at the year I had ahead of me and saw so many things. I had a whole plan for my life and I was set on it. It was absolutely perfect and I was determined to chase after it. Then, everything fell apart. That plan didn't work out and I spent many months picking myself back up and rebuilding a new me.
The same thing happened about 4 months ago, I decided what my future looked like and I mapped it all out. I had such a perfect image and plan for what the coming years of my life were going to look like. I was at a point in my life where I didn't think I had anything to worry about. I was comfortable and safe and my future was set. Then, everything fell apart. That plan didn't work out and I've spent the last 2 months picking myself back up and rebuilding a new me.
It's not easy to go through something like that. It's really not easy feeling like you've finally got it all figured out and then have it all come shattering down on you. But, this life isn't easy and it's not supposed to be. Here I am, after everything I've been through, not even close to where I thought I'd be at this time in my life. This "perfect plan" I'd made for my life has been left behind and a new path has revealed itself. And that path, is the path to Heavenly Father's plan for me. I am so thankful that I have a Heavenly Father who knows what I need and watches out for me; a Heavenly Father who loves me endlessly. I'm thankful that He took away things and people that I loved in order to put me on a better path. I'm beginning to realize that my "perfect plan" is never going to be better than the plan that Heavenly Father has for me. He has a map of my life and if I follow Him and keep His commandments, I know that I will be put on His path and I know that His path will be the path full of the most happiness this life has to offer. From the trials in my life, I know that if we just put our full trust in Him and His plan and live the fullness of the gospel, our lives will be filled with eternal and everlasting happiness. And I know that He has a plan for all of us and I have learned that His plan is always better than the one I have in mind.
So, many times in the last few months I have asked myself, "Where do I go now?" And each time I am reminded of Hymn 270 and the line in the chorus that says,
"I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what you want me to say , dear Lord,
I'll be what you want me to be."
So, where do I go now? The answer to that is up to the Lord. I have decided to let my Father in Heaven completely lead and guide my life. I will go where He wants me to and do what He wants me to. And I know that by doing this, I will find out what His plan is for me.