So my lack of posts, I've had way too much on my mind lately. And all I've been doing since Sunday is thinking about my life. To be completely honest, after talking with my bishop I've been having second thoughts on my mission. At first I thought these thoughts were coming from Satan; trying to deter me from what I am suppose to be doing. But after much prayer and consideration I think I have just realized that I don't need to make all the decisions for my life right now. Right now I just have to trust God and trust that whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. Trusting in God really isn't easy it's actually quite hard. Because right now nothing seems to be going my way and everything I feel like is right seems to slip out of my hands. The only thing that is keeping me sane is getting down on my knees each night and talking with my Heavenly Father; praying to him. So to be completely honest, I have no idea what's going on in my life right now. All I know is that I am keeping the commandments and I'm saying my prayers and even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with my future I know that I just need to trust God. As long as I trust God, nothing can go wrong. As long as I listen to the spirit and keep myself in a place where I can have the Holy Ghost with me, I will be able to make decisions for my life that I know right and are in line with the plan but my Father in Heaven has for me. So my advice to everyone is no matter what trials are going on in your life, no matter how confused you get with what you're supposed to be doing, don't stop trusting that God wants what's best for you. Because right now, I'm not sure what's best, but I know that if I rely on the Lord and put all my trust in Him, He will help me figure it out. As for my future? I'm not sure what it holds. But I am sure that the gospel will continue to bring indesrcibable happiness into my life. And that's all that really matters right now.
Along with that, I have been thinking a lot about how important it has been for me to be able to realize that I am in control of my life, my actions, my future. I can chose to follow Christ and keep the commandments, or I can chose not to. Every single choice I have made in my life has lead me to where I am. Agency. Agency is a gift we have been given from Jesus Christ. It's a very special gift that we must use very carefully. And I'm so thankful for the privledge I have too choose. I'm so glad that my Savior sacrificed Himself so that I could have that. I think we all take our agency for granted for too often. We let others determine our decisions or we make the wrong ones. Don't let what others say about you or think of your decision chose for you because Christ came to earth and died to give us the right to choose for ourselves. Cherish your agency and choose the right and that will always bring you true happiness.